Friday, June 18, 2010

Desires Vs. Expectations

Life has been so busy since we got Jabber Jane! It seems like I've just been running off my feet most of the time. I have to admit that I have had some difficulty hanging on to my goals, finding my motivation. I found myself "cheating" a little here and there. Saying to myself that I have just been having a bad day and I'm going to have an extra piece of pizza, or a glass of coke, or 3 or 4 cheesy bread stick. WHOA, hold on! What am I doing to myself????

I found a site called Peertrainer.com and started reading articles about how to get started and the pitfalls, and why a lot of people don't succeed with weightloss. Or why it's not permanent.
One of them talked about desires vs. expectations. And that no matter what we desire, we will make our expectations a reality. WOW! So if I expect to fail in 10 or 20 more pounds I WILL! But if what I expect is that, yes I will have some not so good days, but I will start each day new and always give my best effort to follow my plan. I will exercise discipline when I need to (more often than not). And I WILL meet my goal!

Then I read about setting our goal to begin with, finding what we really want. I've toyed with the idea of adjusting my goal a little for quite some time. I haven't because I just couldn't wrap my mind around the idea of it being possible...That is ridiculous. I pulled 145 out of thin air, and at first all I did was have that number in huge letters sit on my fridge where I could see it. I got used to it. So the question became, what do I really want? And what do I believe I can do? Do I believe in myself, and my drive and discipline enough to really go for it? Or am I going to stop at the point of too scared to go any further? NO WAY! My new goal is 130, that is adding an extra 15 lbs of loss to my goal. Instead of 68.2 lbs to lose from my starting point, it's 83.2! And I got this! 14.2 lbs lost in 12 weeks, I have 69 lbs to go! I am excited, a little nervous, and definitely recommitted to myself. It's not about being committed to losing weight, the heart of the matter is how committed I am to me! What do I believe I deserve? I don't think so little of myself, that I am going to keep myself obese and unhealthy. And I'm not going to sit right on the edge between overweight, and healthy either. Nope, I am going to sit right there in the middle of wonderful! Where I belong! I owe it to myself.
What do you owe to yourself?

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Busy, Busty and Beat!

So I haven't written in a while. There is a reason for that, well many small reasons, that add up to a big one...CRAZINESS! We've been so busy with so many things lately, I just haven't had the time. I did have blog written and then my internet explorer spazed out on me and wiped out the whole thing...it irritated me so I left it. So I guess there is another reason.
In the last two weeks we helped husbands boss/family move, they are also friends of ours. And since they moved out of their house into an apartment, we adopted their Rotty, Jabber Jane. She is keeping me moving, there's one big thing I've had on my plate for the last 2 weeks. 100 pounds of hyper dog. LOL

I also got to go shopping with my Mother in law, sister in law, and family friend Tracy. It was great, we had a lot of fun, and I got a lot of really cute clothes. (this was for my birthday) here's where I need a drum roll *banging bongos* I LOST 1-2 SIZES! Even up to three, because I bought a dress sized medium! And I love it! So that's 11.2 pounds as of last weigh-in, and I'm no longer needing XL tops, or size 18/20 jeans anymore. My 16s are back baby! And down to a large top! Very proud of that! As you can tell with all my exclamation points I am pretty excited.
So excited in fact, that I posted all my bigger clothes on Craigslist and Kijiji, I sold them on thursday for 55 buckaroos! I am quite pleased, it means I won't be tempted to wear any of them when I feel lazy, and I won't have to wash them anymore. Oh it also means my 16 jeans are comfy enough that I no longer have days where I "feel" like just wearing the comfy pants sized 22, because I don't want the pressure on my tummy. It's just awesome all around.

On my birthday we went out to dinner with friends (husbands boss, wife, and daughter), amazing little italian place called Tony's Little Italy New York Eatery. Oh my Gosh! It was amazing, I did stick to my portions, and only ate half of my Lobster Ravioli, most of my salad (too much dressing), a roll, and half my Tiramisu. So Good, I'm pretty sure Tiramisu tastes like Heaven. I took some of everything home, except the salad. They gave me gift cards to Target (more clothes) and to Hobby Lobby, I can't wait to buy some more craft/art supplies.

So I am averaging around 5-8 miles a week walking Jabber Jane. Which means my Wii Ea active has been on hold until I'm used to that. Also, I got a cold this week. Blah, but I found a wonder herb! It's amazing, it's called Olive Leaf Extract, I've taken like 4 a day since I started feeling iffy. And I haven't got much sicker than just irritating, and sleepy. Which is amazing, because I'm always the person whose cold turns into something much more sinister, and last for about a month. And the cough lasts for months. It's been 4 days, and I am almost normal again. I walked 2.15 miles in the heat with the dog this afternoon. It has to be doing something right. I really think everyone should google it, it also saved my father's life. When I was about 10, he had a toxic yeast build up in his body. He was very sick, throwing up repeatedly on a daily basis, his hair fell out in huge chunks, he vomitted what appeared to bits of flesh (likely masses of accumulated yeast). The doctors said if he didn't do something he would die, but couldn't tell him what to do. The he found Dr. Kockus, an amazing yet eccentric man. Who specialized in natural remedies, he spoke with my dad and told him to take Olive Leaf extract, he gave him a list of a few other things, but said above all don't miss a single dose of the Olive leaf. He had my dad make an appointment for 2 weeks later. When my dad showed up for the appointment Dr.Kockus said, "well it's good to see you're still alive. I really didn't think you'd be making it to this appointment. Maybe there is hope for you yet." Scary, but true. I'm 24 now and my Dad is still around. We'll just say it's good stuff.
But I always no matter what recommend you do your own research! You know your body and your needs better than anyone. And if in doubt take it to your doctor.

Well Husband got really sick last night and slept most of the evening, but he's one of those people that gets better FAST. So around midnight/1am he was up and about. I had been concerned, so I got up and stayed with him. We talked until 5:30 am before he was sleepy. Oi! I am tired, and he is now asleep on the couch. I am gonna get me a nap while I can. LOL
It's been a great few weeks, so much has changed, and I am having the time of my life. Funny, just here at home with husband and dog, doing day to day things. But I also feel the best I have in 13 years, sleep better than I can remember sleeping in...well a long time. And my chronic pain is nearly all gone. I hardly notice it anymore!

Oh I did find out I have a reaction to Ant bites, and I managed to step on another Wasp in the lawn. The Olive Leaf and benadryl helped with that. The toe is still driving me crazy, and I had to throw out my beloved flip flops so I'm not tempted. But it didn't swell to the size of my ankle, like it normally would have, and it no longer hurts to put my shoes on. It was swollen pretty bad still, but hey I can walk! In all, not so bad. Mostly I'm disappointed about having to wear shoes and socks all the time.

Well off to nap time for this tired lady.

p.s. I forgot the busty part! When we went shopping of course we just had to go to Victoria secret, even though I bought bras at Marshall's and Ross for less than 20.00 for both. But we get there and my sis in law is trying on bikini's (not somewhere I go), and the attendant randomly decides to invade my very personal space and measure me! It was kinda funny. And she tells me I need a larger cup size...I'm like like heck I do! I actually do know how to fit a bra, and I am quite comfy in my 38D, which is the same cup as a 36DD, there is no way I am going up to a 38DD or 40 D as she so politely suggested. HOW I ask you all, can I have lost more than 10 pounds and need smaller in everything else, but my bra needs to be bigger? This does not make sense to me. I have always been rather large in the bust, and any time I have lost weight it has not gotten smaller, but I'm 24 and haven't had any babies yet, it could really stop getting bigger, thanks. I do not need those back aches. I'm pretty sure it's genetics, and I know lots of women who lose weight and wish they could have transfered a bit of the weight to their cup size. But there is such a thing as too big, I mean they get in the way! I guess it's a moot issue, since I can't control it, and I don't think I would want to be in the boat of most women who lose 10 pounds and it's all from their boobs. But when I've lost 68.2 pounds, and none of it came from my bust line...that could be interesting when it comes to buying shirts. Alas, I will still never wear a cute button up.